So how did this shit happen?
1.) The opposition was full of shit
Coming from an ardently "oppositionist" background, political correctness dictates me to let this be the first item. Yes, the opposition was full of shit. If you read those blogs written by those sociologists, you probably know the story. We had the willful ignorance of snobbish smugness combined with its ridiculous ineptitude beyond the scale of human imagination. I'm not exaggerating here. If there's any kind of stupid mistake you may think of, chances are that the leaders of our "democratic opposition" have made it big time. We had a meek and soft-spoken neoliberal businessman-turned-technocrat compete with a hideously uncharismatic wax-faced neo-brezhnevian apparatchik for the leadership of the whole bunch, with no one really knowing for sure which was the winner. Why? Because for some reason we figured that we must unite our forces at all cost, no matter what. And so we did. Even the green party was cannibalized in the process. The end result was the very same collection of boring and/or disgusting and/or psychotic shitfuckers with the very same arsenal of outdated tautological platitudes, already beaten to dust by Fidesz just four years ago. You know the definition of stupidity so often cited when it comes to discussing politics: repeating something while excepting a different result. Well, here you go! The funny thing is that the remnants of the green party were successfully revived and re-elected to the house by its constantly demonized leader while the cannibalized breakaway faction could only make one person high enough on the list. Even the lunatic psycho ex-premier Mr Gyurcsany, once excommunicated from the big "socialist" party for bringing it down (with his infamous Őszöd speech and other things), could bring in four times as much.
2.) The government was brilliant
Coming from an ardently "oppositionist" background, political correctness dictates me to let this be the first item. Yes, the opposition was full of shit. If you read those blogs written by those sociologists, you probably know the story. We had the willful ignorance of snobbish smugness combined with its ridiculous ineptitude beyond the scale of human imagination. I'm not exaggerating here. If there's any kind of stupid mistake you may think of, chances are that the leaders of our "democratic opposition" have made it big time. We had a meek and soft-spoken neoliberal businessman-turned-technocrat compete with a hideously uncharismatic wax-faced neo-brezhnevian apparatchik for the leadership of the whole bunch, with no one really knowing for sure which was the winner. Why? Because for some reason we figured that we must unite our forces at all cost, no matter what. And so we did. Even the green party was cannibalized in the process. The end result was the very same collection of boring and/or disgusting and/or psychotic shitfuckers with the very same arsenal of outdated tautological platitudes, already beaten to dust by Fidesz just four years ago. You know the definition of stupidity so often cited when it comes to discussing politics: repeating something while excepting a different result. Well, here you go! The funny thing is that the remnants of the green party were successfully revived and re-elected to the house by its constantly demonized leader while the cannibalized breakaway faction could only make one person high enough on the list. Even the lunatic psycho ex-premier Mr Gyurcsany, once excommunicated from the big "socialist" party for bringing it down (with his infamous Őszöd speech and other things), could bring in four times as much.
When it came to playing the dirty games of post-democratic electioneering, that is. Again, political correctness dictates me to admit this. They were simly astonishing! They left all of us lamers on the opposition utterly speechless. Of course they either fucked up or stole everything (or fucked them up just to steal them later) when it came to actually governing the country, but they always did the right thing at the right time when it came to winning hearts and minds. They always took from the poor and gave to the rich, but nonetheless they managed to look look like the men of the people in the end. How? Well, it was a brilliant initiative that gave nothing but nickel and dime to everyone but the owners of mansions, but they managed to make it sound like the supreme act of emancipation: the phenomenally omnipotent magic spell of REZSICSÖKKENTÉS!!! In plain English it means Reduction of Utility Costs because Regie means Maintenance and Chöquentaesh means Reduction, but I think it should be left untranslated in the PoliSci textbooks of future generations. This was the bomb in every sense. The key was the repetition of this magic word visually and auditively as frequently as possible, which of course they did. It was there on every second billboard and TV commercial, plus every last Fidesznik was required to use it at least once per paragraph, no matter what he was talking about. The scale of propaganda was overkill for anyone with the tiniest bit of gray matter in her head, but nonetheless it worked. There was nothing the supposedly left-wing opposition could say. Yeah, this was the bomb...
3.) The game was rigged
The holy mantra of all those shitty politicians discussed under Point 1 when it comes to finding a cheap excuse, and indeed it was. Again I must guess you know the story. State-owned media were commandeered to become mouthpieces of the government while private outlets were intimidated with an obscure media law. News anchors were required to be "impartial" without any explanation of the term while political advertisement was banned and replaced with government propaganda. Apart from a defiant radio station and a cable channel (ironically owned by the Hungarian fans of Pat Robertson), the opposition could only advertise on billboards of which 90% was owned by Mr Orban's friends. Electoral districts were gerrymandered, the second round was abolished and more than a hundred thousand votes were simply imported from Hungarian communities living abroad. Theoretically they were just exercising their right to vote, but no one could actually audit the process because the votes were collected and counted by loyal vassals of the government. De facto citizens (i.e. those registered with a Hungarian address) were required to show up at embassies and consulates if they wanted to vote from abroad. Why? Because they were escaping the devastation of our country in the first place, that's why.
4.) Tribalism
The root of both the opposition's inept stupidity and the government's disgusting authoritarian corruption is basically the fact that there's no rational debate of any kind between the competing ideologies, partially because there are no competing ideologies in the first place. The intellectual cadres of both tribes write and say nothing but hollow and tautological or outright illogical nonsense, tied together with a hodgepodge of shady myths and conspiracy theories instead of a rationalized big picture. The general population, apart from not really giving much fuck about the incessant blather of their sages on TV, tend to avoid any kind of debate in the name of keeping peace. You can claim to believe in the weirdest fucking bullshit as long as you just claim it and then you stop. You can even elaborate the shit with good friends in the bar and they will laugh with you, but that's it. If you try to actually prove your point or disprove the point of others with logical - god forbid philosophical - arguments, you will be regarded as an arrogant fanaticized fucko trying to force his opinion on his mates. When a civilized human being tries to defuse the hateful bigoted rants of a retarded nazi, it's always just words against words. No one really cares. Rationalism is non-existent in this country.
5.) Poverty
Yet another holy mantra, this time belonging to the bleeding hearts of our opposition's left-leaning conscience. The charge is criminal negligence combined with even more criminal hypocrisy: we the spoiled and pampered shitfucking rich hipsters and limo liberals of downtown Budapest know nothing about the anguish of the countryside, which means err... To be quite honest, I don't know what it means. Okay, here's an evil question to make those bleeding hearts bleed even more: If the affluently snobbish citizenry of Budapest was voting "left" simply out of affluent snobbery, then why did the richest districts of the city vote for Fidesz instead? Or how come that the only red spots on our prudently poor countryside were the rusty Miskolc and the balkanized Szeged instead of the super-rich suburban Pest 2 or the prosperous Burgenland district of Mosonmagyarovar?
Good questions, huh?
The thing is that poverty had an indirect effect on these results because one thing is for sure: poor people didn't vote for the right. My guess is that even the fascist Jobbik party has no more than a slender minority of their voters living below the poverty line, especially since most people living there have a skin colour that Jobbik is just not very willing to accept. My other guess is that the ominous 40% who stayed at home are almost exactly those three million beggars our country is once again known for. Had they been successfully mobilized by a less disgusting opposition or the green party, Mr Orban would be very lucky to have one third of those seats in our parliament.
6.) Hungarians are assholes
Last but not least, this is the inconvenient truth that everyone presumes to be said by the "left wing" of which nobody dares to say it in public. Well, I do: Hungarians are assholes. Okay, all right, let's just say many Hungarians are often being assholes - now that should really suffice. No, we're not stupid! We're not brainwashed or feeble-minded or authoritarian or whatever, we're just plain and simple assholes. You know, like people from the good ol' South. We are good people, basically, but... Yeah man, we're the Deep South of Europe! We tend to believe that rich people have the right to oppress and humiliate poor people cuz that's just how the world works, kiddo! You can steal as much as you want as long as you do it in the name of patriotism - claiming or letting others claim that you will re-invest those stolen sums on our hallowed Hungarian soil, which of course you won't have to actually do. We believe that the woman's place is in the kitchen, homosexuality is a disease, stoners are criminals (unless they're rich and white), Roma people are not Hungarians as they are genetically inferior, and so on. This general assholeism is the reason why the "left-wing" tribe dwindled much more easily when they started losing their edge. There really ain't much potential in progressive values when they are presented by assholes for assholes.
Yeah, I know that the plebs will never be dismissed. It sure as hell can't be. However, it can be left alone to rot away with its precious pride by anyone who speaks English or German. That's when those True Hungarians still voting right will finally realize that national pride is something they cannot eat.
4.) Tribalism
The root of both the opposition's inept stupidity and the government's disgusting authoritarian corruption is basically the fact that there's no rational debate of any kind between the competing ideologies, partially because there are no competing ideologies in the first place. The intellectual cadres of both tribes write and say nothing but hollow and tautological or outright illogical nonsense, tied together with a hodgepodge of shady myths and conspiracy theories instead of a rationalized big picture. The general population, apart from not really giving much fuck about the incessant blather of their sages on TV, tend to avoid any kind of debate in the name of keeping peace. You can claim to believe in the weirdest fucking bullshit as long as you just claim it and then you stop. You can even elaborate the shit with good friends in the bar and they will laugh with you, but that's it. If you try to actually prove your point or disprove the point of others with logical - god forbid philosophical - arguments, you will be regarded as an arrogant fanaticized fucko trying to force his opinion on his mates. When a civilized human being tries to defuse the hateful bigoted rants of a retarded nazi, it's always just words against words. No one really cares. Rationalism is non-existent in this country.
5.) Poverty
Yet another holy mantra, this time belonging to the bleeding hearts of our opposition's left-leaning conscience. The charge is criminal negligence combined with even more criminal hypocrisy: we the spoiled and pampered shitfucking rich hipsters and limo liberals of downtown Budapest know nothing about the anguish of the countryside, which means err... To be quite honest, I don't know what it means. Okay, here's an evil question to make those bleeding hearts bleed even more: If the affluently snobbish citizenry of Budapest was voting "left" simply out of affluent snobbery, then why did the richest districts of the city vote for Fidesz instead? Or how come that the only red spots on our prudently poor countryside were the rusty Miskolc and the balkanized Szeged instead of the super-rich suburban Pest 2 or the prosperous Burgenland district of Mosonmagyarovar?
Good questions, huh?
The thing is that poverty had an indirect effect on these results because one thing is for sure: poor people didn't vote for the right. My guess is that even the fascist Jobbik party has no more than a slender minority of their voters living below the poverty line, especially since most people living there have a skin colour that Jobbik is just not very willing to accept. My other guess is that the ominous 40% who stayed at home are almost exactly those three million beggars our country is once again known for. Had they been successfully mobilized by a less disgusting opposition or the green party, Mr Orban would be very lucky to have one third of those seats in our parliament.
6.) Hungarians are assholes
Last but not least, this is the inconvenient truth that everyone presumes to be said by the "left wing" of which nobody dares to say it in public. Well, I do: Hungarians are assholes. Okay, all right, let's just say many Hungarians are often being assholes - now that should really suffice. No, we're not stupid! We're not brainwashed or feeble-minded or authoritarian or whatever, we're just plain and simple assholes. You know, like people from the good ol' South. We are good people, basically, but... Yeah man, we're the Deep South of Europe! We tend to believe that rich people have the right to oppress and humiliate poor people cuz that's just how the world works, kiddo! You can steal as much as you want as long as you do it in the name of patriotism - claiming or letting others claim that you will re-invest those stolen sums on our hallowed Hungarian soil, which of course you won't have to actually do. We believe that the woman's place is in the kitchen, homosexuality is a disease, stoners are criminals (unless they're rich and white), Roma people are not Hungarians as they are genetically inferior, and so on. This general assholeism is the reason why the "left-wing" tribe dwindled much more easily when they started losing their edge. There really ain't much potential in progressive values when they are presented by assholes for assholes.
Yeah, I know that the plebs will never be dismissed. It sure as hell can't be. However, it can be left alone to rot away with its precious pride by anyone who speaks English or German. That's when those True Hungarians still voting right will finally realize that national pride is something they cannot eat.
No comments:
Post a Comment