Adam Online

After listening to a copiuos amount of Space Ambient music while reading about this trending video game called Eve Online on Wikipedia and elsewhere, I thought the time is really overdue to create my very own sci-fi MMORPG!!!

Okay, these will be the races:

The Gaynigger Federation:
The most advanced and sophisticated race, both technologically and culturally. Their home world is the planet Anus in the 8th Sun System, far far away from here. They are much more intelligent than any other creatures in the universe, but the most fascinating thing about them is that they - with the help of their super intelligence and their highly developed telepathic system called Brain Tapping - have been able to create a society based on a truly perfect way of living without the presence of women: a male-only world!!!

The Phelpsian Crusade:
A fervently religious and brutally militaristic theocratic empire founded by the most devout members of the Westboro Baptist Church who hijacked a Gaynigger supply ship with the help of Rick Santorum and Dinesh D'Souza, shortly after the liberation of planet Earth from the cruel oppression of women. Their homeworld is a very cold and harsh planet chosen by their most eminent scientists in order to prevent their citizens from becoming gay and also to prevent the Jews (See below!!!) from influencing the empire with their global warming hoax.

The Jews:
Obviously the most cunning and sly and manipulative and [...] of all these races, they managed to co-opt and circumvent the Gaynigger liberation effort by deconstructing the oppressive identities of their wives and girlfriends and many well-educated Shiksas with a mysterious lore of cultural re-programming they named Gender Studies. They are led by the enhanced consciousnesses of Noam Chomsky and Naomi Klein and also Avital Ronell uploaded onto a gigantic supercomputer at the Technion, and of course the Elders of Zion. Oh boy, what did you think?! Their home world is planet Earth, once again controlled by their very evil left-liberal conspiracies since the Gayniggers have decided to form an alliance with them against the looming Phelpsian threat.

Shiksas:

An ancient matriarchic civilization from the paradise planet of Shiksaland which is still their homeworld despite countless attempts made by neighbouring empires to conquer it. They are the deadliest enemies of the Gayniggers who fear them with such visceral horror that they never dared to even approach the borders of their intergalactic sector. The Shiksas are the most resilient race in the universe, but they always fail miserably when it comes to expansion and conquest because of a permanent shortage of male citizens who still make up the vast majority of the rank and file in their armies. The female members of their society have a strong disdain for any public physical work which includes military duties as well: they use their unparalleled sexual aptitudes instead of physical force to dominate and control the males. [Now if this won't make the game sell good, I really don't know what will!] The only empire these witches and/or bitches have been able to invade and decimate with great success is that of the Jews who seem to have a totally irresistible desire for Shiksa women which made them unable to think rationally on the battlefield. The explanation of this strange phenomenon is still an uncharted territory of Jewish science. The war between these two empires came to an end only when the mediating efforts of Jewish diplomats made the Gayniggers recognize and even admire the very strong and yet highly sophisticated bisexuality of Shiksas. This and the knowledge of Gender Studies and an undisclosed number of Nice Jewish Boys was the price they had to pay for a lasting peace with the Shiksa empire.

Gypsies:
The ultimate no-bullshit race of the Terran sector who really just want to live a simple but independent life and build a nice house for their beloved families and have some fun, but most unfortunately the overall weakness of their small and fragile empire makes them unplayable at least until some really rad extension pack comes out. They are stubbornly anti-political and therefore essentially conservative, but they still admire the Jews for liberating them after centuries of slavery. A third of their rapidly growing population is still living on Jewish realms, making up a significant part of the crews on their starships while paying an even more significant part of their salaries on mortgages. Another third is employed by the Corporation - a fact that makes some other employees regard them as a biological weapon created by the Jews [Note: This is what European nazis actually believe!] - while yet another third has become the most fervently patriotic sub-race of the Gaynigger Federation. Only the remaining fourth third is actually... Oh, wait!

The Corporation:
A ruthlessly efficient and also brutally militaristic but otherwise uncompromisingly business-oriented hybrid race created by neo-conservative Jewish bankers resentful of the queer-loving progressive mindset of their sullen corrupted kin. Armed with the bio-engineering techniques gleaned from the nerdy employees of their cocaine-addicted gentile friends, they managed to create the true Übermensch by cross-breeding Republicans with Scientologists. These new corporate superhumans have managed to terraform Venus and now they are allied with the Phelpsians whom they view as a bunch of useful idiots, but otherwise they are happy to do some lucrative business with anyone.

The Bogr:
A cybernetic machine race controlled by an upgraded version of that computing device mentioned earlier, created by unhinged [Okay, enough is enough!] scientists on a desert planet rich in valuable minerals. The human factors of its decision-making protocols are provided by socially frustrated Asian dudes playing some shitty sci-fi MMORPG. These hopeless lonely losers are housed in tiny cubicles fitted with a large gaming console and just enough junk food for them to stay alive. The most successful players are rewarded with blowjobs and other useful services performed by the least successful players who are turned into ditzy young sluts by some very cruel and humiliating sex change operations.

Creepy Shit:
Now this is some very creepy alien shit! Some virus or whatever, we just don't know... But probably created by [Ah, fuck me!]

More details may come soon. Wish me luck!